It all started approximately 2 weeks ago, I had not been feeling well. Tired, confused, a little dizzy, and just didn't feel like myself. I did not have any headaches nor did I have any nausea. I thought it might have been side effects of a medication I was taking for my heart that I was given a year ago after going through triple bypass surgery. (I thought then, that I had a new lease on life). My wife was not convinced and thought that the worst thing that it could have been was that I had a mild stroke. We went to our family doctor on Wednesday September 28, 2011 and this is where the journey began.
I was sent to emergency at the Civic Hospital where they did a CT Scan. As we waited and waited we never could have imagined what the doctor told us. The doctor took my wife and I into an exam room and explained that I had a large mass on the left side of my brain. My wife and I were both in complete shock. This was something neither of us would have ever expected. We waited for the neurologist to arrive who explained to us that he needed to put me on medication to ease the swelling that the mass was causing and to prevent seizures. I was told I would have to stay at the hospital but I explained to the doctors that I needed to be able to go home that night and talk to my children and let them know what we would now be facing as a family.
Thursday September 29, 2011
We returned to the hospital the following day to the emergency where I had blood work done and an IV administered to me. I was then told that I would be having a full CT Scan to find out if the mass on my brain had come from Cancer somewhere else in my body. We also spent 90% of the day waiting for a bed to be prepared for me. (Emergency is not a nice place to be waiting when you have so much on your mind) I must say though that I could not have asked for nicer nurses, they eased some of my fear and gave me hope that I could possibly get through this. By late that evening I was admitted to the Neuroscience wing on the 7th floor of the Civic. (7th Heaven is what I thought). I now had to again start waiting for more answers, more tests, more of the unknown.
Friday September 30, 2011
My wife arrived that morning where we spoke to the Liaison Nurse about letting me go home for the weekend, she told me that until I had my MRI I was unable to go anywhere. I guess I got lucky because later that morning I was taken for my MRI which lasted 45 minutes. (I would not suggest this test for a big guy like me, pretty tight squeeze and the only other thing was the noise, if i wouldn't have known better i would have thought i was in a war zone.) Now the waiting began again. We were told we would not have an answer till Monday. I went back to my room where I got to know a little about the gentleman who was in the bed next to me who was completing his journey and returning home with his family. He had been diagnosed with ALS. Before he left he wrote me a note because he was unable to speak due to his disease. In the note he told me that I was a strong man and that he believed that I would be able to beat this. I then realized how many wonderful and caring people are actually out there. Later that afternoon I was told by one of the nurses that I would be given a day pass for Saturday to be at home with my family.
Saturday October 1, 2011
Today was a good day. Today was a sad day. Today was a day to talk and think and prepare. We tried to make this day as normal as we possibly could. We had our usual weekend brunch. Eggs, bacon, home fries and sausages (At least my arteries aren't going to kill me) You don't get food like that in the hospital. I noticed how simple tasks were much harder to do then they had been before. Being home gave me some of the strength I needed to go back and face what I needed to. It also made me realize how sometimes we take things for granted, but when you are faced with something like this you really realize how much you really love your family and how much they love you. This was the only day that went fast. I had to return to the hospital by 6pm that evening. When I returned to the hospital I felt so alone. I think I even talked to God and told him that I am not ready to leave this earth and that I still have lots to do. I hope he listened.
Sunday October 1, 2011
Today I felt sad and lonely. The waiting has really taken a toll on my emotions. One minute I am laughing, the next I am crying. Today I will be telling my mother my prognosis. I worry about how she will take it. She is not well herself and I can't imagine how I would feel knowing that one of my children might die before me. We went to the family lounge, my wife, daughter, sister Gail, Donald (Duck) and my mother. We cried, we laughed and we remembered some of those memories in the past.
Monday October 2, 2011
Today the neuro surgeon was in to speak to me about my MRI results and to let me know that I was to have my surgery Tuesday or Wednesday, I was on the top of the list. Linda arrived late today and seemed upset. I asked her what was wrong and why she was so late? She explained to me that while she was on her way to the hospital with a family friend of ours (Vince) they were in an accident. She was okay, just a little sore. I could not believe it, what else was going to happen? My daughter Sara came later that afternoon so that Linda would not be there alone. We spent the day discussing the surgery and trying to be positive.
Tuesday October 3, 2011
I called Linda early in the morning to tell her that my surgery was scheduled for today. When she arrived at the hospital we found out that an emergency had come in and my surgery was postponed. Again we waited! It seems that we spend more time waiting and worrying then being able to move forward.
Wednesday October 4, 2011
SURGERY DAY!
Linda, Gail and Donald arrived at the hospital early this morning. My surgery is scheduled for 8:30am. The nurses are busy getting me prepared. I feel nervous but anxious and just want to get it done. I know now that it is something I cannot postpone. I felt confident in the surgeon, he was aware of what I wanted and did not want.
Waiting time...........3 1/2 hours later and surgery is done. The surgeon removed as much of the tumor as he could. Without causing more damage. My vision has been affected and so has my balance and fine motor skills. (But I was alive) and now I had the diagnosis and prognosis of my disease. This was real and I now knew what was awaiting me. I had to keep on fighting.
Thursday October 5, 2011
This morning Linda, my daughter Sara and son Buddy came to see me. I was agitated and did not want to spend any more time in this hospital. The nurse called me her little lost puppy, because I just wanted to go home. The nurse spoke to the surgeon and told him I wanted to leave. He said that my CT Scan was good and as long as I had good support at home and I would follow his instructions I was a free man. (Homeward Bound and now the rest is up to me)
